My heart

Putting my heart on the table and letting God operate! SN: Vunerability isn't weakness expressed (nor is it fun) but it allows others to see a commonality-->Humanity! -Princess V <-- (me) :-)

Doll with no voice

Crazy how inner turmoil seeps in...
breaking through the edges of insanity, crying out can someone help me. Being what everyone approves of is not all glitz and glam.
She can never fit the mold...
she says "I'm too young, not light enough,  not cute enough, not well-versed, not thick enough....Not happy enough..."
Like a rag doll pinned up on a stand for everyone's disposal.
People say "Hey she's bendable, smiles and agree's let's use her. Like the end of a q-tip throw her away... far far away...but wait... we need more from her, more, more, more, we can never throw her away, what a deal! She has no Voice... we speak for her, she has no opinion we think for her. She can't leave us, we made her. like a puppet we pull her strings."
Guess what her favorite words are: "YES", " SURE" and "OF COURSE!" Pushing her wants and desires to the side... who cares, not us. As long as we get our needs met. Confused, frustrated and annoyed. Like a Chameleon she blends into every environment, circumstance and theme. She is who you want her to be when you want her to be it... No objections for her, she smiles and does everything in good spirits.. until she gets home and no one is there, she screams from within.... Leave me alone, Go away....Not now! To no avail because there is no one there to hear her. As her voice echos through the wind, tears stain her cheek only to walk out and begin the destructive cycle again.

Hey Blending in has it's perks... Acceptance. One problem: self-destruction.

Heart Afar

Lord this heart is far away....
Lord this heart is in distress....
Lord this heart needs to be settled but it wanders, further, further and further away each day.
How dare this heart beat and not be connected to you... dark, dry, no love, no care no soul.
Where have you gone heart?
Where are you?
God needs to hear you!
He needs to hear you praise Him in the morning!
Come back heart...
He needs to hear you sing once more.
Heart, He wants to love you truely and deeply.
Heart He wants to get to you intimately.
Heart don't leave Him because He wants you...
You know you're always first on His list... always valuable.
He cares for you so much He died for you.
All you have to do heart is die to your old ways.
Die to your old thoughts, that way you can come back from being so far away!

From your Princess V.

The Best Deal in Town- Testimony

I have lost one of my mentors "MAMA DIVA" gave me a mic and allowed me to expres myself through the arts... I took her death really hard... not to long after that finding out that I find out my cousin's husband pasted away... later that day My car started acting up...can some one say that was a LONG DAY....

Currently I am a Substitiute Teacher and basicly I only have a job during an active school year. We are in the summer time so I am not working. I have been pinching pennies...Guess what? My car started messing up.. I was freaking out! NO! another expense and my account hasn't been looking so hot. So I went to Sears and I met a guy who had connections with someone at Toyota and I paid only $50 for diagontic check. The Speed Sensor had a malfunction. I was told the same estimate by two different places $244.90, $35.97, plus $150 labor. My dad gave me $250 for my car to get fixed.

I was like WHAT! So then I went to my account and I was freaking out! I was talking about this issue to a friend of mine and she was like I have "I have a friend who fix cars" I was in my whole world frustrated about me being a college grad who can't afford to fix her own car and WOE IS ME! The whole time my friend is begging me to call her friend... I called her mechanic friend He said he'll do it for $200 I was so excited....

I thought I was having a bad day untill a former classmate called me and he expressed to me his issues and his pain w/o having a job and God allowed me to minister to Him and He did the same for me. Through pain, Iron sharpened Iron! God helped me to Shut up and help my brother in Christ.

God works things out and I am learning that one of my flaws is looking at the situation, and the whole time God was working it out.. My homework assignment is DO NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING BUT IN EVERYTHING BY PRAYER IN SUPPLICATION MAKE YOUR REQUEST TO GOD...

Though I went through different trials --->; I should count it all joy!