Interesting.... yesterday I finally received what I ordered... a bunch of products from Joyce Meyer.... I was like whoa.... I got to read and listen to all this stuff. Man that's a lot of studying... What I can't understand is that am I so stressed out and other's are relaxed... Wait there is a difference between works of the flesh and Grace... Works of the flesh is when we try to be Holy spirit Jr. When we try 2 be Christians w/ out Christ. SO I decided today that I'm not reading or studying anything today I am resting in the beloved. I'm already accepted... He rocks and His grace is sufficient 4 me.... I am going to relax and stop moving so much!

Okay Okay Okay.... Now it's forgiveness time. I can't be mad 4ever. I noticed I am still upset. I get a text.... I donot want to talk to the person in Question but that's not hot. If I want God to forgive me I must 4give. The greatest Commandment is to Love the Lord thy God w/ all my Heart w/ all my mind w/ all my strength. If anything I'll do it 4 God and 4 myself. Living in unforgiveness is said to be like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. or even being in a prison While the other person is enjoying life.

Also If I want God to hear my prayers I have to let go... I would be a hypocrite if I sit here and hold on to this incident.

Even when I was still in sin. Jesus died 4 me. I know my flesh is screaming No.... But like paul said I beat my body and make it my slave. God did say vengence is mine so I will let the CEO of the Universe Handle it. God Help me plz.

Sunday the 23rd I found my self horrible upset. Me and 9 other ppl were going to do a life changing skit @ the end of our revival which was titled "Heaven or Hell you Choose" and it ended up getting cancelled. We were devasted and what's crazy is that some ppl couldn't understand our frustration. It was like.... get over it! How do u just get over something so quickly. Anger is a normal emotion. Eph 4:26 In your anger Sin not...Do not go to bed angry. I doesn't look like I got much sleep that night.

It was funny because the more ppl were like it was okay Vicky... It's okay Just do it another time... it made me more upset. lol No seriously. I'm the type of person where if someone is venting I let them vent I may add my little two sense in, but that's about it. I may correct you when you're out of line but that's about it.

What I didn't like is that when someone does something wrong and they smile in your face... That urks my nerve and they want you to get over it that very second. You can apologize but make sure that you give the person room to breathe.....because they just might blow up. I know, I need space. I don't Like to be patronized. It's kool how God still rocks. I was upset, I told the person How I felt, yet I did not disrespect them nor did I get rude with him. I may have been a little loud but that was frustration.

I thank God because I know let that have been mayb 2 yrs ago , I would have not said anything and bottled up by true feelings. What I need to learn is how not to dwell on things to long... it's day 2 and I am better. I am happy that I am surrounded by ppl that I can talk to and that care about me. God's @ the top He understands me so well.

Also I haven't perfected how to be a politician... you know smile when your not happy... I am asking God how not to be a phony Chrisitian! Help me God....

I am begining to just study the love of God. I notice everytime I have thoughts of doubt, or feel insecure it goes back to the Love of God. I am accepted in the beloved and he truely cares for me and you. He is working overtime 4 us. Do not neglect the Lord thy God. His love endures forever.